Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Randomize
