I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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