So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
