I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
