I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
