Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
