At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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