i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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