My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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