you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
