Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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