Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
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