Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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