I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
