we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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