from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
