C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
