He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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