then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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