every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
