Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
