from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
