grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
found the other keg... it's in the tree
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
