it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
