I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize