u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
