This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
