What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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