And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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