I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
