Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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