I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I am one with the molecules
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
