i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
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Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
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Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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