No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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