Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
