Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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