I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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