you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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