how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
