so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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