It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I just pynch a tree in the face
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
