I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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