Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
