who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
