Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
