My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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