On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize