One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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