He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize