i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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