apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I need to stop coming to work sober
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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