Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
