What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
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