Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
