shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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