I forgot how hot balto sounded
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
