Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
