garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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