You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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