I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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