I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
