he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Are we still banned from the library?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My penis needs a shock collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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