fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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