grandma shit on top of the toilet
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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