How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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