It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
